As the plate is being served the executive notices the waiter has his thumb resting on the edge of his steak. I knew that I would be flying in a very small plane, so I was not surprised when the clerk said, "The plane is very full with baggage and passengers." Then she asked, "How much do you weigh, sir? But when I grew up I found out I wasn't qualified because of my poor eyesight. Two workers were knocking in nails to the sides of a house, one of them kept throwing them away.
"Umm, excuse me," the man says, "but I couldn't help but notice you had your thumb on my steak." "Yes, I know, sir," the waiter responds, "but I didn't want to drop it again." An applicant was being interviewed for admission to a prominent medical school. I guess I'll be on the golf course by now." *-- According to Retail Employees, You Might Be A Bad Customer If... You escort people out of line for having 11 items in the "10 items or less" lane. You walk into a store at 10 minutes to close not knowing what you want and don't decide for another 30 minutes. " Not thinking clearly I answered, "With or without clothes? "Not again..." When I was young I dreamed of being a test pilot. Now I work in a post office which gives me many of the same thrills. A fifth generation farmer has determined that his son will be the first in their family to go to college. Counts Puerto Rico, Mexico and Canada as "technically" U. "Why do you keep throwing nails away," said the other.
The cymbalist, realizing that the conductor did not know what he was doing, angrily clashed his instruments together during a delicate, soft passage. The conductor, highly agitated, looked angrily around the orchestra, demanding, "Who did that? He couldn't accommodate her with an evening appointment, and, since she had to go to work the next day, she told him: "I'll leave the key under the mat. But, whatever you do, do not under *any* circumstances talk to my parrot! Lonefold's apartment the next day, he discovered the biggest and meanest looking Rottweiler he had ever seen.
"Tell me," inquired the interviewer, "where do you expect to be five years from now? " "Well," said the clerk, "how do you intend to travel? - Will you kindly tell your secretary that there is only one "t" in dirty and no "c" in skunk? So he and his wife save every penny for years and when the big day comes for junior to leave for school, the old man is the proudest he's ever been. "Because they have the point at the wrong end," he replied.
" A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging. Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams? Doctor, it wasn't all that bad this time." Dentist: "There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don't want to miss the four o'clock ball game." He was not well-educated and rather rough and crude around the edges, but he was recently converted and now on fire for the Lord. A weeping woman bursts into her hypnotherapist's office and declares, "Doctor, I have been faithful to my husband for 15 years, but yesterday I broke that trust and had an affair! After the first semester junior comes home for Christmas break and the old man sits him down for a talk. As incentive for learning, when you name a state capital, you get to take a shot. Insists that one of Popes during the Roman empire was Pope Bubba. "You fool, we could use those on the other side of the house!
But then a customer asked me, "Can you deliver it filled with water? " During World War II, an British pilot on flight duty with the Air Force in Europe was shot down and captured by the Germans.
After a year as prisoner of war, he escaped and made his way back to his bomber group in England.
One of his first acts there was to hunt up the corporal on duty in the parachute building.