When we lack a sense of our own identity and the boundaries of the self that protect and define us as individuals, we tend to draw our identities, our sense of self worth from our partner or significant other as we did in the earliest stage of our biological growth in our family of origin, drawing our sense of worth from their perceptions of us.
They make it possible for us to separate our own thoughts and feelings from those of others and to take responsibility for what we think, feel and do.
Boundaries are part of the biological imperative of maturation as we individuate and become adult people in our own right.
We are, all of us unique, and boundaries allow us to rejoice in our own uniqueness.
Healthy intact boundaries are flexible, they allow us to get close to others when it is appropriate and to maintain our distance when we might be harmed by getting too close.
Leading in some cases to that most unequal of relationships, master and slave.