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She has told me and her sister - otherwise, she says, she's '100 per cent certain' that nobody else knows.'I won't allow Mark to call me on my mobile or email me, ever. I insist we talk on our office landlines, and when we meet for drinks or dinner, we pay with cash.
'We work in the same field, so meeting for lunch doesn't look suspicious.
It's not just a question of avoiding the inevitable row over the 'worth it' factor of a pair of killer heels, but of holding something back in order to maintain a sense of emotional independence, and to balance out the power we might feel our partner has in other aspects of the relationship. Why have a huge row over something he needn't even know about?
A recent survey by a leading building society also found that women are much more likely than men to have a 'secret' account with money their partner knows nothing about. I never tell him about my girlfriends' secrets, because he'd be judgmental and disapproving. But it's easy to see how a climate of withholding and keeping smaller secrets can easily lead to bigger ones.
There is something particularly humiliating for a man about being made a cuckold.