(Richard Asa)Q: Is there a common misconception people have when someone doesn't call them back? You have to evaluate what the person is doing rather than what they're saying.A: Sometimes the person sitting across from you on the date has no idea what (he or she wants). When I'm talking to people after a breakup, they'll say, "Just last week he told me how happy he was." I hear that over and over again. He wasn't happy because he just walked out the door.A: You have to stay positive and see yourself as a person of worth and value, so that other people will see you the same way. When you say, "I'm constantly settling," then healthy people aren't going to want to be with you.
It might take some time, but you will be able to successfully date new people if you wait long enough and keep a positive outlook.
When it comes to post-breakup dating, there are two main philosophies: One is that, if you date right after a breakup, you're rebounding, which is unhealthy.
Now she's helping others find love after a breakup through her counseling, seminars and a new book, "Getting Back Out There: Secrets to Successful Dating and Finding Real Love After the Big Breakup" (Da Capo Lifelong Books). Q: What advice do you have for someone who is grieving over a recent breakup?
A: It's OK to retreat into your bedroom and pull the covers over your head for a couple of days.
I'm not a big fan of needing validation from others, but the newly brokenhearted often need that feedback with other people. You feel stressed, confused, pulled in different directions.